John Lithgow, 79, Candidly Reveals How He'd Like His Death to Play Out
John Lithgow reflected during a recent podcast appearance on his own mortality, explaining his "very simplistic" view of death and what he believes makes for a "good ending."
The two-time Academy Award nominee described how the passing of a close friend impacted the way he views his own death while responding to prompts on NPR’s Wild Card podcast. After contemplating whether he believes there is “more to reality than we can see or touch,” a question that podcast host Rachel Martin clarified was about “what happens to us when we die,” Lithgow, 79, described himself as being “very simplistic” when it comes to his perspective on death.
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“I think of death as death,” Lithgow said. “I don’t think there’s life after—or a soul after—death.”
The Conclave actor then relayed the “extraordinary death experience” he had involving stage actor Doug McGrath, who died at age 64 in the fall of 2022. Lithgow was directing McGrath in a one-man play that McGrath had written for himself when, one day, the star of the off-Broadway show was a no-show.
“In his office, by himself at about 4 in the afternoon, he’d lain down, had a heart attack and died,” Lithgow recalled. “It was such a traumatic thing to experience. He died painlessly, and almost courteously. He didn’t make anybody else suffer over his death—except over the fact that it had happened like that.”
The Footloose actor remembered feeling “startled” over “how soon I was able to absorb” the reality of his friend’s death. “He was simply gone. And I knew that he was gone,” Lithgow said. "The brain simply adjusts.”
When asked if McGrath’s passing has impacted his own view on death, Lithgow said he feels “more” comfortable with the idea now than he did before. “I just know it’s coming,” he said. “I think the best thing is to have a gracious ending. I calculate my exit from any film or television or stage play, and I always want to have a good ending. Well, I want to have a good ending to my life, too—that no one grieves over. And is appropriate.”
Lithgow added that he feels the three cancer diagnoses he’s received over the course of his life have also helped prepare him for the end. “I’m almost glad that I had the shocking experience of being told, ‘You have malignancy,’” he admitted. “To have realistically contemplated, ‘Oh my god, this might really—I might die of this,’ I think it was a useful experience to have, in terms of just putting your whole life into perspective.”
